Musings of 'The Voice'
by TheXEnigma
Summary: Begins where the movie left off- will Shane and Mitchie ever become the couple everyone knows they should be? R & R. Interesting one-shot for now!


**Summary:** Just the beginning of what could become a very long and angsty Smitchie fic...Review and let me know.

**Disclaimer:** Sadly- I do not own anything pertaining to Camp Rock...Sucks Doesn't It?! ;)

Mitchie sat with her legs dangling over side the pier, fighting to keep the jaw breaking smile off her face. She wrapped her hands around her body and fought her own chuckle, as the wind whipped the lake water against the wood and the sounds faint of laughter drifted past from the Dining Room. Her watched glowed a happy 10:21pm, with her performance energy still sending merry tingles down her spine. When Caitlyn had told her two days ago that the camp rocked all night after Final Jam, she'd thought it had just been an expression. But sitting here now, Mitchie had no problem accepting the fact that she would be up and wired all night.

_Of course_…

Her conscience started whispering in the back of her mind as she swung her legs and giggled, the sounds of beat-boxing now sweeping to the lakefront…

_The reasons that you'll never sleep tonight are completely separate and undeniably unrelated to the fact that Shane Grey not only interrupted your performance but joined you for an impromptu duet…_

Mitchie shook her head to clear her thoughts, deliberately stopping herself from examining that particular moment of tonight's events. Cupping her hands and breathing hot air into them in an effort to ward of the chill, she absently hummed a few bars and stared across the lake.

_It really is beautiful here… _

The full moon graced itself from behind the mountains in the distance, as the silvery glow bounced off the lake water and lit the forests surrounding its shores. Mitchie bit her lip thoughtfully as she watched the water ebb and flow, gently lapping at the planking below her dangling feet.

"_You up for a canoe ride later...?" _

It was completely overwhelming. She'd answered without thinking, it had been completely automatic. She was Mitchie Torres, the girl who could barely sing in front of her own parents! But tonight not only had she, to quote Brown 'rocked it' for the entire camp, but she had agreed to meet **The** Shane Grey in the middle of the night, in the middle of the lake- under a full moon no less!

_Ohh, I must be losing my mind…_

Mitchie- rocking her body gently- grimaced and gave a quiet whimper as her thoughts rebelliously broke free; the wind was still biting through her shirt and her doubts were beginning to gnaw her already unsettled stomach. Icy dread started climbing through her veins, as she desperately tried to change her train of thought. Shaking her head in defeat, Mitchie closed her eyes and leant back on the dock fighting the urge to run and hide. Her smile slipped away as the moon once more drifted behind the mountains. She couldn't stop her body from trembling, but lying on the cold wood decking of what she had secretly come to call 'their spot', she could no longer pretend that it was because of the cold weather.

_The look on his face when she had told him off in the kitchens…_

_The look on his face when he sang __**that**__ song…_

_The tremble in his voice and the hurt in his eyes when he had 'discovered' her lie… _

She lay on the dock, silently reliving the moments of camp that she had replayed in her head so many times before. She could still remember how his eyes had crinkled when he laughed with her in the canoe, a completely sincere laugh…

_But that's defiantly not my favourite…_

Her face flushed and her hand tingled as she crossed her arms above her body, her legs still dangling over the side of the pier. All Mitchie had to do was think of the expression on Shane's face when he had walked towards her on the catwalk and she was lost. She was swept away with a trembling heartbeat, sweaty palms, and a vertigo that had her so dizzy she swore that at times her eyes rolled back. But what made it worse was the fact that she was pretty sure that now **everyone** knew _why_.

When she had joined her parents back at the cabin to change into something warmer for the canoe ride, her parents had still been smiling. Her mother had even insisted on taking photographs before she put on her comfiest jeans and favourite red long-sleeved shirt. Even before Mitchie had agreed to this little tête-à-tête, (as her mother had so delicately called it), she had decided that Shane would only now ever see 100 pure unembellished **her**- which meant no raiding her Mom's shirts- and wearing her ever faithful brown boots. And while she had laid her jumper on the end of her bed, to grab when she left- Mitchie could picture it laying there right now- her own father had completely shocked it from her mind…

_Her mother had just walked into the bathroom to pack a toothbrush- she was going to stay the night with her Dad at the hotel- when he had walked over to a bewildered Mitchie and hugged her, lifting her clear off the bed_.

"_Dad, put me down," The laughter in Mitchie's voice betrayed her surprise as her Dad swung her around the room. _

"_Okay, okay, but can you blame your old man for being excited? His little girl was incredible tonight!" _

_He gently placed Mitchie back on the ground near her bed and gave her a huge smile. _

_Mitchie just blushed and returned it with her own mega-watt grin. It faltered somewhat as she noticed her fathers eyes twinkling with mischief, and she watched cautiously as he made a show of glancing around the room and whispering in her ear, as her mother finally came out of the bathroom. _

"_But don't you think that next time you could introduce us to your singing partner- I'd love to get to know the young man who's stolen my daughter from me."_

Her spluttering and deep-red blushes had only been met with hearty laughter and a wink, as her Mom had dragged her father from the cabin, reminding her to be in bed at a semi-reasonable hour- finally leaving Mitchie alone. She had stood frozen at the foot of her bed for at least 5 minutes, as everything became a blur of embarrassment. She couldn't begin to explain her horror, as her legs went numb and she automatically stumbled for the cold and silent night outside. Her deepest and darkest secret- the fact that she had somehow managed to develop a crush on one jerky pop star- was _obvious_?! To _other people_...?!

Mitchie cringed once more at the memory, and once more pushed down the rising sense of impending humiliation. She rolled to her side careful not to snag her hair, and checked her watch, sighing softly as she read 10:55pm.

_Shane still hasn't shown… _

The thought trailed off in a cloud disappointment as she hoisted her body up, stamping her feet to ward of the cold and the slightly numb feeling of keeping her legs suspended for so long. She walked to the very edge of the dock and looked out, the dark water barely discernible except for the moonlight, and watched as her breathe started to come out in misty puffs. She was freezing her butt off and starving, the weight of all her self-doubts was beginning to seep into her heart. She knew that she could never be anything more then a friend to Shane. She may have turned out be The Voice- whatever _that_ meant- but she was just plain ol' Mitchie Torres. And unfortunately, no matter how well they sang together (impromptu mind you), that fact would never change. No matter how you put it, she couldn't be the kind of girl Shane Grey would want around- not out in the real world. She scrubbed her hands over her face to catch the stray tear rolling down her face.

_This is ridicules. Not only are you crying over someone who a.) You never had to begin with and b.) Hasn't made his feelings known- but you're doing it while you wait in the freezing cold to go for a canoe ride with said boy! Something is really wrong with picture! _

She laughed helplessly at the ironic situation and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply the scent of pinecones and hotdogs wafting past. Her inner-self broadcasted unwanted truths at the most _unwanted_ times.

_Besides…what about his expression- his eyes- there has to be something there if he looks at you like that! _

She shrugged to herself still staring out at the water. He couldn't feel for her the way she was trying _not_ to feel for him.

_Still- ,_ her thoughts whispered, -_At least __**you**__ got to know the real Shane Grey, after he got a clue!_

She hummed wistfully (and guiltily) at the thought of her reaction to that particular Hot Tunes announcement. In the beginning, she had judged him as Shane 'Rockstar' Grey too, instead of just Shane Grey. And while she was glad she had broken through his tough-guy exterior, she was damming herself a little too. You can't be serenaded by an incredibly attractive guy (_let alone rock star_) without feeling something! After all, he had become famous for a reason. He was an extraordinary person and she had been hopelessly and dreamily foolish enough to let her guard down.

_Step close enough to the flame and you are bound to get burnt…_

Her mother's old saying had never seemed so true. She had allowed herself to feel close to Shane and now she was burning up. Before she had met Shane on that fateful day in the kitchen she had never dared to stand up for herself like that. It was as if Shane, and only Shane, had a way of bringing her out of her shell. He had made her feel like being 'just Mitchie' wasn't such a… _lonely_ thing. So she had listened to his songs, her cheeks trying not to burn, as her heart gave painful tugs at the thought of him singing it to another girl...The Voice she hadn't known. Mitchie felt ridiculous, of course. On the canoe when Shane had teased her about being jealous, the worst part was that she _had_ been. She couldn't help but snort ironically _now_- she had been jealous of herself!

_But without meeting Shane, I would never have been able to sing on that stage._

She felt her heart once more swell at the memory, her spine tingling at the thought of the look in his eyes as they met hers and the incredible sense of warmth that had spread down her arm as they had linked hands. He had been so warm…they had been so close together that the heat had simply radiated off him. She had been so tempted to just step in closer, lay her head in the crook of his neck and breathe in that tangy scent of his…

_Maybe tilt my head up a little and press small kisses against his neck- his skin salty with sweat from the performance- and he would wrap his arms around me and stroke my back- his heart beating under my ear…. _

Mitchie shook off her thoughts, horrified, as she quickly looked around her, praying that no one would see her violent blush and sighing thankfully as the beach and dock surrounding her remained silent and dark. The heat was incredible as she felt it travel from the tips of her head and flush down her neck.

_I am soo going to hell because of him_…

Her mind lurched as she gave her thoughts a figurative scrubbing of soap. Ever since the day Shane had first sung '_Gotta Find You'_ down by the docks Mitchie had been cursed, dreaming and daydreaming of the black-haired songwriter whenever she had 2 minutes to herself. Preparing for lunch after their canoe ride, holding a knife loosely in one hand and dreamily sighing over cold cuts, Mitchie had apparently zoned out for a good 5 minutes. Caitlyn had nearly cried in her laughter as she'd scared Mitchie out of her revere, ecstatically showing Mitchie the video that she just had to record of the moment. Ever since then and much to Mitchie's embarrassment, Caitlyn insisted in jokingly calling it her OCDRD face, for Obsessive Compulsive '_Dreaming of Rockstar'_ Disorder. Caitlyn had almost died with merriment after she realized just how accurate she had been about Mitchie's wandering thoughts.

Mitchie sent another wistful glance towards the water, hoping Shane would appear soon and still replaying Caitlyn's reaction to her confession in her head…

_Mitchie was distraught; she couldn't keep the tears from falling as Caitlyn helped her into her own cabin, Mitchie not wanting to face her mother quite yet. Shane thought that she had lied to him…Mitchie could barely feel Caitlyn's mumbled reassurances as she helped her sit on the edge of one of the beds. The hands soothing her back disappeared under the memory of Shane's wounded eyes and his hurtful barrage of retorts. Her hands were trembling and her body was wracking with sobs, as the scene at the Beach Jam repeated itself in Mitchie's mind, refusing to be pushed away. _

"_He looked so…betrayed…" _

_Mitchie's voice came out as a hoarse whisper, as Caitlyn hurried to her side, relieved that Mitchie had finally spoken. It had been close to an hour since Caitlyn had to practically drag Mitchie from the beach to the cabin, her body slumping alarmingly as Shane turned away. _

"_He trusted me…and I…" Mitchie's voice broke off as she miserably raised her eyes to look at Caitlyn, who handed her a water bottle wordlessly- hoping that her silence would encourage Mitchie to keep talking. Caitlyn gently sat cross legged on the bed as Mitchie turned to face her. Mitchie's eyes were bloodshot and the little mascara Caitlyn knew Mitchie wore had left blackened streaks down her cheeks. Caitlyn furrowed her eyebrows as she carefully studied her friends face. Disturbingly pale, Mitchie's reddened nose and painfully puffy eyes made Caitlyn want to go and kill Tess- or better yet- Shane. Because for the past hour Mitchie had let lose sobs so heart-wrenching that Caitlyn herself broke down, her hugs not enough to soothe the pain in the least. What was worse, Mitchie hadn't lost her voice or drowned Caitlyn's shoulder in tears because she was humiliated or scorned by the entire camp- but because she had hurt her Mom…and because she had hurt Shane._

_Caitlyn had a sneaking suspicion that it was Shane even more then her mother that Mitchie was so torn about…her whimpers asking his forgiveness kind of giving it away too. And then there were her eyes…Caitlyn hesitantly looked Mitchie in the eye as she handed her a tissue from the box by her bed, instantly feeling the hot indignant anger on behalf of her friend rise. They were broken…for lack of a better expression. Slow tears were still leaking out of the corners as her lips trembled, her hand slowly mangling the tissue in her lap as sorrowful guilt once more swept across her face. _

"_He was the one who wouldn't let you explain Mitchie." Caitlyn gave her friend a firm look as Mitchie bit her lip and shook her head, turning to gaze unseeingly at the belongings of the two dancers Caitlyn had ended up boarding with- Caitlyn flinched inwardly as she followed Mitchie's suddenly pained gaze across the room. Caitlyn had forgotten that her bunkies had plastered Connect 3 all over their walls. _

_Mitchie stared across the room at the posters, unable to tear her gaze away from Shane's accusing eyes. Even frozen in a picture he seemed so disappointed in her. She was so cold. A vague numb had settled in, her chest constricting tightly with every breath. He had told her from the start- he couldn't stand being lied to. But even if she hadn't meant to, even if she hadn't lied to get close to him…she had still lied- still hurt him. And for that Mitchie felt as if the walls were closing in on her. She could hear her blood pounding in her ears, Caitlyn's voice fading away as the Shane in the posters glared down at her, his brown eyes hardened with disgust. _

_Mitchie was dizzy as she tried to look away, time slowing as she vainly tried to make sense of what she was feeling. Shame mingled with guilt, her mother had taken this job for Mitchie and she repaid her by acting embarrassed? Embarrassed that her mother had cared enough for her dreams to take a job at a camp full of teenagers? What was worse however, was the fact that Mitchie knew her mother would understand, once she explained why she had lied- her Mom would understand…So that didn't explain why she felt so… heartbroken… _

_Mitchie could feel Caitlyn staring at her, silently prompting Mitchie to leave her dazed stupor and reach the same conclusion that she had doubtless already arrived, given Mitchie's apparent propensity to plead through her bitter tears._

"_I'm falling for Shane Grey- the Rockstar who despises me…" Mitchie once more turned to face Caitlyn, the words leaving her mouth not so much as a statement but as a plea. A soft and desperate plea to Caitlyn- a plea for her to tell Mitchie that the stabbing pain she felt wasn't that she had torn apart her heart with a single stupid lie. Caitlyn bit her lip and handed Mitchie another tissue, her eyes sympathetically meeting Mitchie's pleading face- desperate for a way out. _

"_Mitchie-I think you've already fallen…" _

Mitchie turned from the water with a sigh, beginning to slowly walk back up the dock, goose bumps now prickling her arms. She knew Shane probably had a good reason for being late- the press had arrived for the performances- but deep down Mitchie felt like just going back to her cabin and sobbing. Bad memories and impending heartbreak were enough to dampen any mood. There was only two days of camp left, and after tonight she seriously doubted that either of them would be able to spend any of it like they use to- going round in circles. She had wanted to apologise, to explain why she _had_ performed tonight, but mostly- she just wanted to fool herself into thinking Shane wanted to be alone with her as much as she did with him. But now that he hadn't shown up, (she refused to let the thoughts 'stood up' enter her mind either) she wouldn't get the chance…

_The look in his eyes, the way your hands fit perfectly together- the way your heart jumped when he smiled…_

Mitchie breathed deeply as her feet dragged to a halt. Having reached the end of the wooden planking, she braced herself for the trek up to the Dining Hall (and Caitlyn's inevitable questioning); the thought of warmth and food buoying her flagging spirits.

_So she had a crush on __**The**__ Shane Grey, so what? Half the worlds teenage population did too, right?_

However, her righteous indignation and reasoning did little in helping her feet to move off the dock.

_There is no reason why my feelings would be anymore pertinent then theirs--_.

Her mind responded to this with the sarcastic frustration now pouring off her body. She couldn't even walk away from his stupid _dock_!

_--No reason at all. Except of course for the fact that you know the real Shane- you sang with him. Nope no reason at all… aside from the fact that he spent all summer looking for you- The Voice._

Mitchie's fists curled at her sides as she stood, furious at herself for the heartbreak she _knew_ would set in when they left Camp Rock in two days and headed back for reality.

_Ahh- cold reality_…

Shane was an international Rockstar, while Mitchie was a shy and invisible teenager, who may or may not even be able to sing in front of an audience again.

_But on the bright side I have absolutely no reason to think of this as anything more then celebrity worship…Aside from the gaping facts that I initially disliked him as a celebrity, but fell in __**love**__ with him _a long time_ before we sang tonight! __Damn it!! _

She shook her head miserably, letting her hair drape in front of her eyes and sank to her knees, settling onto the cold ground once more…She was in love with Shane Grey. She was actually _in love_ with her 'Pop Star.' She was irrevocably, irrefutably, undeniably, spine-tinglingly and heart-breakingly in love with the boy who had shown her more about herself then she had ever dreamed. But what really made her heart sting was the fact that he would never be **her **anything, not really. While she was confident that Shane singing with her meant he had forgiven her lie fiasco, it didn't necessarily mean that he was willing to keep their camp friendship alive.

The cold air swept around her equally cold body, as it whispered around her face and dried the hot tears running down her cheeks. She was trembling, the overload of emotion of the night finally cracking free and running through her body. She was on fire and freezing at the same time. Her heart was beating almost hopelessly fast and her fingers were tightly clasped to her chest- Shane's phantom touch still making the blood in her hand flow. Her lips were parched and dry and her stomach felt as if lead was slowly but surely being dropped upon it. The happiness of being in love with Shane was making her smile that ridicules smile; but it was mixing with the heartbreak of knowing she would never be **there** with him, and her body felt as if it was being torn apart from the inside. Her rational mind was fighting against the hope in her heart that just couldn't give up on the possibility that maybe- just maybe…

"…Mitchie?"

At the hesitant and worried tone of a voice she knew too well, Mitchie's head snapped up in pure shock. With tears streaming down her face and mingling with a smile that rivaled the bright moonlight, Mitchie looked up to see Shane staring down at her with an indescribable expression, cradling two hotdogs and…her jacket.

…_Of course you would_…


End file.
